Changing Direction

Looking at my new knitting needle holder is as close to knitting or in fact doing anything for at least two weeks. I exhausted myself so much during the last few months that I got Bronchitis and can't seem to get rid of it. When I try to knit just moving my arms makes me cough.

After receiving a prayer shawl at my mom's funeral I have decided to dedicate most of my time to knitting, crocheting or quilting Prayer Shawls. I want to pass the comfort along.

I'd like to knit with a group of people whether that is over the internet or where I live or both. I'd like to knit for a Canadian organization for which people and their families really sacrifice a lot. I'm working on that end of things to distribute them. I'm going to need help so I hope any knitters out there (even one person) will help me by knitting a prayer shawl. I hope to have more details soon.

For information on the Prayer Shawl Ministry go to http://www.shawlministry.com/. Knit a prayer shawl for anyone in need it's a great gift to receive.

New Old Stuff

These baskets were my great grandmother's. They are from western Canada and might have been made by Native artists. I love this kind of folk art which is really so highly sophisticated and honest. The top one is hand painted and served as my grandmother's sewing basket. Inside the big one I found this sweater almost complete made by my mother. Coincidentally it is the same color as the sweater I started while she was dying. It is also a cardigan and someday I will finish knitting the last piece and sew it together.

It is interesting how we decide what pieces of the past we allow into our present lives. Maybe I will never finish the sweater. Perhaps it would be better to rip it and knit something new with the old yarn. If there is one thing I've learned it's to acknowledge the past but to move on with today and the future.

New Stuff For A New Year

Well it's about time I took stock of what's been accomplished in the last few months. My first ever hooked rug is moving along although I don't know if others can tell that the main figure is a cat. I think the sweater is going to be allright. It's my own pattern knit entirely in the round (yeah, no seams). Since my body curves outward wherever it is possible to be curvey I've been experimenting with short rows. This actually quite terrified me at first but it is actually fairly easy to tell where to add short rows (my curves are not subtle). Notice I'm trying not to mention anything about weight. My new resolution is to not say the F word (the three letter word )in conjunction with myself in order to be a better role model to my daughter. The great thing about knitting top down is that you can adjust the fit as you go.

Prayer Shawl

This has been a difficult year. My daughter went to boarding school (her choice) so I've been having empty nest syndrome. Then about 10 days before Christmas my mother passed away. We've been on the road back and forth, doing the 9 hour drive, to the big city since September. I'm going to whine a bit here, but I am so tired that I decided to give myself permission to take a week off at home and just rest.

Thank goodness for all of my hobbies or I would have gone round the bend. What do people who don't knit or quilt or hook rugs do when they're stressed out. I have slept a lot and been very lazy but without my projects I would have been taken over by depression and a sense of purposelessness.

One thing that was absolutely wonderful was a present I received from a wonderful friend of my mother's after her funeral. She and her group had knit me a prayer shawl. When I feel sad I just wrap that around myself for comfort. In fact over Christmas the whole family took to wrapping it around themselves for comfort.

I have heard of the Prayer Shawl Ministry but to be quite honest I didn't really understand it. I mean how comforting could a piece of cloth be. I thought maybe those people should be knitting other things for their families that would be more appreciated.

How wrong I was. The Prayer Shawl I received has been invaluable in helping me through the grieving process. The colors remind me of my mother and when I wrap up in it in a way I feel I am wrapping a little of herself around me. Knowing that the lovely women of her church knit it is a wonderful bonus. Her community of women are also wrapping around me with loving support. What a great gift that it should be prayed over and blessed turning a piece of cloth (albeit a lovely hand knit one) into a garment of spiritual protection.

Having received one I know I must cast on and prayerfully knit a shawl for someone in need.

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Year

I'm a little late with finishing this project (on December 24th). The good/bad news is that we all know Christmas will be rolling around again and once again I will have a use for this Advent Calander. Not that I dislike Christmas; I'm just a little tired. We lost my Mom a couple of weeks before Christmas. However we tried to have a good but quiet Christmas to cheer up my Daughter. This weekend we have to take Daughter back south to school and I'm not looking forward to that. When I get back to the cold and blustery north, I'm going to lock myself in a room, and cry while I finish a crazy quilt pillow that has been languishing for several years. Creativity is the best antidote for languishing. Happy New Year (it can only get better ).

One of my favorite knitting books is "Mother-Daughter Knits". Sorry about the horrible photo of it nestled amongst the clean laundry pile I am trying to ignore. The Buttoned Muffler pattern is excellent. Here it is in Patons Shetland Chunky. Misty cat is not impressed so I tried it on myself as well.

As well I am working on this hooked rug. This is my first try at rug hooking and it seems to be going all right (I hope). As you can see Misty is one of my favorite models.

I haven't blogged for a long time. It's been a little stressful. My daughter left for school in early September. She is only 14 and attending a boarding school. She researched the whole thing last year and initiated the whole endeavor. She was so gung -ho and being our only child we decided to make her dream come true. We're very proud of her for coping with the move so well but of course we miss her terribly. We are able to see her every other week or so as business often takes us to the city where she is. The school is fantastic and the staff are so professional and take great care of the kids.

Then I was phoned at work and an emergency doctor in Winnipeg told me my mother was dying of cancer. My mother and I have been estranged but I was devastated and went immediately to see her. She has Alzheimers as well so although she recognizes me she isn't aware of what is going on.

Through all of this knitting has been my salvation. Knitting for my daughter gives me a feeling that at least I am able to provide some motherly care for her. Knitting also keeps my nervous energy under control. Knitting is a blessing from God. I am next going to knit for charity as a way of giving back all of the blessings I have received from God. I used to knit preemie caps for the local hospital so I think I'll start there.

The last entry from Anne Shayne on the Mason Dixon knitting blog answers a fundamental question of why we knit. By knitting we create a problem solving situation. I can mostly solve knitting problems (mostly might be stretching it-throwing knitting across the room can be cathartic if nothing else) but I can't solve my mother's cancer. I can't repair our past relationship but I can knit something for her comfort. Or I can realize that there is nothing more that I can do and move on to knitting for the new baby at our church. Knitting is all about the future. It's all about moving along to the next little problem such as learning a new technique or pattern. Sometimes the solution is to rip back the knitting and pretend like the problem knitting never happened. That's the only area of my life in which I can undo a mistake and turn the stuff of life into something completely different.

My best knitting is done in silence to the rhythm of my own thoughts and feelings with the cat curled up next to me and a cup of coffee within reach. Knitting is something I do mainly for myself so that I may produce something positive out of the stress in my life. Hopefully I can pass the item on to a loved one or a stranger and let them know that someone took time to make sure they are buffered from the harsh reality of life.